Small towns are fun.  Our first introduction to Mississippi was a mandatory stop in the barely-on-the-map Lucedale. We weren’t the only ones who have stopped here, it seems.  Once, a long time ago, in an administration far, far away, there was an actor named Ronald Reagan.  For reasons that no one can apparently explain, this Mr. Reagan stopped at a pole which had serrated sides.  This pole, in front of a Chinese Food restaurant (no town in the South should go without one), is what Mr. Reagan chose to scratch an itch, so to speak.  No.  Really.  He stopped and scratched his back on this pole.  And now it’s a landmark. 

So, in the South, if you are wandering through a sleepy town and have an itch you just can’t scratch, find the nearest Chinese food restaurant that has a pole with serrated edges and get carried away. You might just find yourself growing up to be President some day.

One of the most fun things about road travel in America is what you find at the side of the road.  Not only did I see roadkill Armadillo, we came across a staple of the South:  a road-side stand selling boiled peanuts.

Rob pulled off the road immediately, hopped out of the car, and shortly returned with a large brown paper bag filled with hot, steamy peanuts still in their shells.  The peanuts are boiled in their shell for about 12 hours, in a great deal of water and a whole lot of salt.  More salt, I am told, than I can imagine. 

After popping one of these Southern treats in my mouth, I could actually imagine, quite vividly and horribly, how much salt went into the boiling.  My blood pressure on the rise and my taste buds under assault (hee), I reached behind me, grabbed some napkins, and both Rob and I, together, spit the damn things out.

Lesson: sometimes, the things you find on the side of the road should stay on the side of the road.

Kentucky is the most beautiful state in all of the union. Seriously. No joke. If I ever die, I want it to be in Kentucky. And my body stuffed and rested on the swing of the Beaumont Hotel. I’ll write a back-story on My Beautiful Kentucky another time. Now, we’re just passing through…with a few stops on the way.

Did I say that Kentucky was beautiful? It’s spring here (real spring, not Canada spring), and all of the flowers are in full bloom; the trees, lush with green leaves and lavender buds. Rob and I stopped in a nice little town -most things are closed on Sunday in Kentucky in hono(u)r of Our Half Our Lord- and walked around, stretching our legs and taking in the sunshine of which we have been deprived since we went away last year.

Later on, we made our way to the Mammoth Caves, but this being Sunday (see note above) and our major goal being Nashville, the tour we wanted to take was not offered. Instead, we went to a Mystery House! A wonderful tourist atraption, a dollar will get you a guided tour by a disinterested teenage boy through a maze of…stuff? The first hallway, as our boy stated, had “scary” paintings on the wall. Agreed. I always found “Starry Night” by Van Gogh terrifying in its use of colo(u)r. The next room has slanted floors and I almost passed out and ended the tour early. Not before our teenage leader through madness noted the vacuum cleaner glued to a wall painted with planets and stars. “Vacuum in space,” he said.  There are very few things that are better than the things you find by the side of the road in America.

To authenicate our experience, we stopped and ate. You don’t have to be a rocket scientist/food critic to guess where. We’re in Kentucky. Fried chicken. Put them together and you get a sneak preview of this:

http://www.fox6now.com/news/ktxl-news-doubledownhitsstores,0,652335.story?track=rss

First of all, 560 calories?  Please.  Secondly:  yum yum yum yum yum.  Everyone should eat this daily. 

God, I love you, Kentucky. Someday we will be together forever…

Now it’s on to Ohio!  We’ve been to Ohio so many times I consider it my adopted state.  It’s not my first love (that’s next) but it’s a great place to be.  Sadly, today, you are just a vehicle to get from point A to point B.  But as your nickname points out, you are the state that keeps on giving (unofficial slogan only, patent pending).

Just when Boyfriend (we’ll call him Rob for the sake of making him more personal and lifelike) and I were about to give up on our way to Cincinnati, we saw one of the many things that makes Ohio special.  His name is Jesus.  And He’s a pretty righteous Dude.  And that’s just the Half of It.  Literally. 

http://www.roadsideamerica.com/story/9786